"All Hail the Holy Fishing Emperor!"

Many folks equate fishing with retirement. They imagine spending their final years getting up before the sun, packing up the Alumacraft, and heading for their “secret hole” to wet a line.
What could be more noble, relaxing or environmentally sound than fishing?
Lots of things. I’m afraid fishing has become the “untouchable” holy pastime.
To come out against it is perceived as un-patriotic and against the American Way.
Evidence of fishing’s “higher power” status is the Wisconsin “Right to Hunt, Fish and Trap” amendment to the state Constitution, passed by a wide margin years ago.
So, if fishing is now a “right” instead of a privilege, then the state can no longer charge for a fishing license, correct?
Always one to tackle windmills with a javelin, I will be the first to tell the Holy Fishing Emperor that he is really wearing just his BVD’s.
First off, I like to fish on occasion, and seafood in general is my meat of choice. You can’t say I’m some sort of “fish hater.”
I just don’t like the “bulletproof” attitude that fishing hides behind.
You see, it is all about the water.
I’ve gone around the block with lake’s associations, individuals and the Department of the Interior about “personal watercraft” restrictions. They are all absolutely wrong to single out one type of vessel over another to meet their needs of the moment.
Even the U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary refers to PWC’s as “a motorboat that uses an inboard motor powering a water jet pump…” The only technical difference, they explain, is that you can sit astride of the vessel.
That would be the equivalent of not allowing motorcycles on the public roads in certain neighborhoods, because of the “type of rider.”
Besides, I’ve ridden one of the new four-stroke PWC’s, and they are cleaner and quieter than any gas-powered outboard built prior to five years ago. Any outboard, let alone some smoking, burping 9.9-hp Evinrude, Johnson or Mercury.
But it goes deeper still.
Before we had covenants, lake restrictions and shoreland ordinances, we had Maritime Law. Even though spice traders, pirates, navies and governments rarely agreed on anything, they tended to follow some basic rules on the waters.
Boats are boats. As long as it floats and can fit on a ship, it is a boat. Pure and simple.
Now we have people and groups that do whatever they can to eliminate a certain “type” of boat or boater from “their” waters, lakes, or river. They use any excuse they can come up with: Pollution, danger, speed, noise, “it wrecks the fishing.”
Ah, there it is; the Holy Fishing Emperor has spoken from behind the curtain.
I’m tired of fishing being treated with the equivalent of “diplomatic immunity” on the public’s waters.
A case in point happened recently on Sand Lake, where an enterprising group of locals started a water-ski club. They have been given the third degree from several people, complaining about use of the lake for their competition, upsetting the fishing.
The skiers obliged. Out of respect for people fishing that one Saturday morn, the group delayed their tournament for over two hours, allowing the lake to clear of fishing boats.
By the way, the skiers made the Sand Lake landing look better than ever, and even bought lunch for the lake residents.
I’ve been to fishing tourneys where trucks, trailers - and plenty of the garbage associated with the sport – littered the access, roads and parking lots near the lake. Now add several dozen loud, smoky two-stroke motors and boats to the mix and tell me these events are given the same scrutiny as a three-boat ski tourney?
P.S. Ski tournaments rarely begin before dawn.
I grew up on or very near water, and have stepped on my share of discarded hooks. I’ve also cleaned up stray 20-pound test, lure and bait packaging, dead fish with suspicious “rips” on their mouths and gills, and remnants of fishing houses more often than any other water sports’ goodies.
I have yet to find a discarded water ski or tow rope.
The Holy Fishing Emperor needs no clothing; he needs to learn to “give a hoot.”
But the fishing practice of sliding in next to docks and swimming areas to cast into the shadows is plain rude. More than a few times I’ve found haggard pieces of fishing line wrapped around the boat lift with a lure attached.
I’ve seen fishermen cast past swimming buoys, and troll in near the kids while they swim, oblivious to the potential danger they’re causing.
But the real scrutiny needs to be applied to invasive species.
From my observations and off-the-record discussions with several wildlife experts, anglers are almost single-handedly responsible for the spread of Eurasian Milfoil in the region.
Of course, the DNR agencies in both Minnesota and Wisconsin were tediously slow to respond to the danger, and many lakes are ruined because of it. Milfoil was in Madison 30 years ago, yet precautions to stop fishermen from spreading it west didn’t happen until recently. I can only ask why.
Sure, maybe these are a few “bad apple” examples in a large bushel barrel, but it is typical of the attitude that anything fishing is okay, because, well it’s fishing.
We don’t want to anger the tourists who grace our bars, restaurants, hotels, bait shops and marine shops.
But speed boaters, sailors, water skiers and personal watercraft owners also spend money, and they don’t smell like bait.
If I ever hear the term “but it hurts the fishing” as a reason to ban or limit something, I will support whatever is in question.
Just because.
Fishing may be a noble, relaxing pastime, but The Holy Fishing Emperor needs to come out from behind the curtain and take his hits like everyone else.

(This opinion column was first published in 2004)