Plated for Travel...

Why State's Righters are missing the points

I recall a recent local debate over the merits of enforcing tobacco sales to those under 18. The lengthy discussion touched on issues of parental control, responsibility, individual choice and whether we should entrust teenage retail clerks with the job of “gatekeepers” for society’s evil habits.

I agree it is a noble cause, keeping kids from “cancer sticks.” But it seems ludicrous for government to bet their budgets on people smoking forever to balance their books with related tax increases.

While fining someone up to $500 (add another $189 for court costs) for selling a pack of smokes seems reasonable to some, I would remind them that retail workers are truly the lowest paid workers in America today; they are the primary reason for minimum wage laws.

Again, we’re relying on the poor to feed the tax coffers, whether through smoking heaters or selling them to the wrong people.

But I am a man from another era; a time when fake ID’s were easy to make, finding buddies to buy a case of beer cost $5 extra, and driving into Wisconsin on your 18^th birthday to buy booze was a rite of passage - and a test of your car’s rear shocks.

Wisconsin was a haven for booze commerce due to its lower drinking age and ridiculous drivers’ licenses, which looked like glorified library cards.

Today’s Wisconsin driver licenses are routinely six to eight years old. At my last renewal, I paid my fee and instead of receiving a new, high-tech, state-of-the-art hologram license, the DMV sent me a sticker for the corner, stating it now expires four years later than what it reads.

There’s a bargain.

As a recovering bartender, I saw first-hand the difficulty in discerning “real” from “fake” identification.

I challenge any local law enforcement officer to describe a Delaware driver license. Or Missouri, Kansas, Alaska, Rhode Island.

The problem is that drivers’ licenses have become little self-esteem enhancers for the states. No two states’ licenses are even close to similar.

There are few standards on what we consider the “universal” ID, short of a passport. Driver licenses are it.

Retailers, bartenders and other business firms are not afraid to use their “right of refusal” for anything they deem suspicious.

Apparently, being from another state in the Union is suspect.

While many people are still convinced that the Patriot Act is the biggest threat to our liberties in all our lifetimes, the concept of “state’s rights” has been taken to an extreme for years.

Did you know Minnesota law enforcement does not legally need to respect a Wisconsin temporary vehicle tag? I’ve talked with several officers who assured me that they do, but don’t need to. How kind.

Sure, you can pay taxes in their state, work in one and live in the other, but God forbid you drive a vehicle there until the plates come in the mail.

States have become oblivious to the meaning of being an American. They treat it like some sort of generic, umbrella term.

Don't believe me? Cries of "Socialism" beginning to leave your lips? Then consider trailers in Michigan.

Several years ago when I licensed my vintage Shasta camper, I realized that under Wisconsin law, it DID NOT NEED a tag, since it was under 3,000 lbs. Confused, I called a State Patrol administrator, who said I "may want to consider it, if I was planning on leaving the state," he said.

Hmmm, not realizing what was going on, I inquired to the Michigan State Police, who confirmed that yes, non-licensed trailers would be ticketed in that state, but that some confusion existed.

OK, where's my State's Righters now? Is it bad enough that a car with Arizona tags can have jet black window tint, but not Minnesota or Wisconsin cars? Or that my camper only needs a plate so I can hit the UP for a spell?

The same thing applies to driver’s licenses.

I firmly believe Americans have a right to a nationally sanctioned identifier; a piece of plastic that protects my rights no matter which bridge I cross over the Mississippi, or state border I traverse.

It is time for a national driver’s license, or something like it. Same size, embossing, type of picture, hologram, maybe a “secret tag” or barcode that easily identifies the ID as real, legit and legal - here’s a patriotic concept – and as a derned American.

States could have a little spot in the corner for their logo or seal so they feel good. But the ID would essentially be the same no matter if it were issued in Madison, Montpelier, Sacramento or Raleigh.

This would overcome much of the national obsession with age-related violations, virtually eliminate fake ID’s, and help with homeland security.

Civil rights groups and state’s rights extremists will hate this idea. But it makes sense and could help guarantee the rights of Americans to engage in interstate commerce, and would help law enforcement with state-to-state record sharing, which is spotty.

With three-fourths of all U.S. states facing serious red ink, it might be time to consolidate forces on ID production, both to save money and to protect individual freedom.

It might also make it easier for those 16-year-old gatekeepers to see whether your kid is buying a pack of Camels.

And it might make me visit Michigan again.

Vintage Camper Showcase #20

"It's a boat, no a plane, no, it's a, a Spartan camper?"

"Yes. Virginia, the Spartan Manufacturing Company briefly considered using their fancy travel trailers in a different mode altogether in 1954, as a houseboat!

If you can find one of these rarities, you've just paid for your kids' college, and maybe a few nights at the Hilton, to boot! The unusual house boat was only in production for about an hour or two before they realized how 'out of their element' they were. No word on how many were made, or if they were even sold to the general public. But this fancy example did indeed float, as this RV/MH Museum lost photo proves. I can't imagine not having a diving board, though.

At least you don't have to worry about leveling the rig!"

Welcome to my post card...Vintage Camper Showcase #17

- "Hey, that camper is so shiny I can see through my own clothes!" -

Aye, she's a shiny temptress! A veritable "Venus dons chromium." Err, or something in Latin that's very suave and "old worldly."

Yes, the Lukas Family has it all: Cool 26-foot, shiny Airstream International camper with two tanks of gas and a five-digit number on front! 

"Wahoo-who, Gina! Hide the lamp shades! We're not only going camping , honey, we're going to be part of a club so strong we need five-digit-identifiers! That's more than the Postal Service needs!"

Yes, the Airstream registry is extensive, and this gleaming '64 dual-axle was the cream of its crop that year, and probably one of the largest "mobile" trailer campers of its day. 

I can almost see it now:  "No mirrors needed! Just shave on the wall, Bub! The whole world is reflected back, like your own, personal post card!"

    

The mystery of Lac qui Parle Church

One of my lifelong, best friends, JW - who affectionately brags of "having known me since I was a fetus" - recently moved some of his life to the semi-abandoned "ghost town" of Lac qui Parle, Minnesota.




















Just a few dozen miles from the South Dakota border, the semi-abandoned village may have been one of the possible original choices for the pre-state, territorial Minnesota capitolship, and prominently displays a sign bragging of its' Post Office roots.



Very little history can be found on-line, and the winter hours of the local historical society make it unrealistic to dig into archives when it isn't warm.
But the town seems poised on the verge of fading into the prairie, and that troubles me.
Specifically, there is an old church, pictured here and in my blog's title, that seems close to being a loss forever.

Many people have no trouble with that, and find old, decaying structures or objects "eyesores," and worthy of burial.

I'm just the opposite, and have found a stunning beauty in that decay, but mainly for the history behind it.
I have elicited the help of some of my Flickr photoshop wizards to try and decipher the NAME of the church, which is all but illegible. I could only make out "church" and "synod," and a few Flickr-ites found "Ev Luth" and "John" in the battered wood with extensive digitizing, maybe even a "St." before the John. 

The Minnesota State Historical Society has one photo of the church, from 1971, although they list as the Lac qui Parle 'Union Church."

Hmmm- the plot thickens.

I took several dozen photos in and out of the church, but one of the more stunning features is a nearly century old wood stove (shown here) that I was able to trace back to at least 1912!
Next on the order was genealogical society records, which seem to indicate little about the church, but may reference a cemetery near the site - which I couldn't see through the four-foot-tall snowdrifts. However, that is a game changer, and if a cemetery is "lost," it MUST be noted or reclaimed for protection, by many state statutes.
If that "lost" cemetery is for real, it may indicate the church had an actual congregation until no later than 1922, before pulling up stakes when the village fell apart.
Regardless, the biggest threat to this once amazing structure is obvious: The former landscaping trees that lined its flanks!
Imagine, one hundred years ago, a group of dedicated people did their best to beautify the plain-sided church, and "pretty it up" with some bushes, or shrubs and small trees from their clippings. Those trees/shrubs/bushes are now over thirty feet tall, and growing through the walls and windows, threatening the old church more than the elements, development, critters or even other denominations!

JW and a few of us who moved helped move him have discussed a "save the church" weekend, where we bring our chainsaws, trailers and formidable muscles in to cut those offending trees back and give the church - and possible cemetery - a new chance.
It would be a cool retreat, or shop, or showroom, or ski/snowmobile/ATV stop, or yes, Brother JW, again as a church.

As Lac qui Parle's newest resident put it, he's hoping the church returns the favor.

"Captain Nemo, your camper is ready, sir!"

Vintage Trailer Showcase #16

"That's no ordinary camper, it's a Clipper!"
Fresh from the backlots of southern California, where they wee once as common as former Liz Taylor spouses, this vintage 1936 Clipper is undergoing a restoration and complete tear down. Known for their "scary" snouts and windswept style, they were also famous for being the weirdest thing you'll see in your rear view mirror.
I don't have much info on this, except that it came from a camper forum several years ago, with no more accompanying info.
Sadly, I have very few Clipper photos, but will include what I have in a collection.
Enjoy!

That's one classy chassis! (Vintage Camper Showcase #15)

Hey, what do you mean "No Smoking?" This is my home away from home! You can have my smokes when you pry them from nicotine-stained wrinkly, decomposing fingers.
But this vintage shot of an un-named, circa 1938 vintage camper actually shows the "upside" of trailers, camping and apparently, fashion and interior design! Note the way boss flower prints on the sofa and on her sun dress, or the funky flowery sculpture behind, or even better yet, the foxy lady's porcelain bird and horse collection in the corner shelf behind! Yes, nothing says the great outdoors like broken china and shattered dinnerware!
And how's that for a coincidence! She's looking at herself in the magazine! My heavens, she is at the cusp of fashion.
(Photo courtesy the RV/MH Museum and the C. Dickenson Collection.)

Vintage Camper Showcase #14 - Ski Jump or trailer?

Not much in the way of details. Just a cool old design, circa 1935. This thing could sell today! You could pull it with the hybrid, and get everyone a talking at the KOA. Their "wavy-stickered" fiberglass rental RVs would look like a turd - albeit a new turd, with a warranty - compared to this sweetheart. (Photo courtesy the RV/MH Museum and the C. Dickerson Collection.)

Vintage Camper showcase #13

I'm showering in the Forest! Imagine that! 

That's one slick, sleek piece of modern conveniences, Madge. The new Airstream was more than just a "camper," it was a mobile two-star hotel room. You could be in the jungle, forest, desert or prairie, and the modern world was just behind your bumper. 

"Oh, pass me the soap, cowboy, I'm felling very dirty after a big day outdoors." 

Oh-la-la! Or as the ad says, "...all the world is truly their home."

Photos courtesy the RV/MH Museum in Indiana, and also part of the C. Dickenson collection. Don't think they go together, but were in the same batch. I believe the Airstream exterior is a 1958, while the shower photo may be a different critter, since it says 1952. But still, imagine how revolutionary the shower was for RV campers. It was the last excuse for many people.  

The salvaged Chicago "Black Friday" Series #1

All photos were once thought lost on a previous computer, from a now-retired Nikon. The computer - a Dell, I should mention - that had a tendency to swallow programs whole, and not in a good way.
The shots are all from downtown Chicago over Thanksgiving 2005, and include several of the really cool people in my life: My wife, daughter, brother and his wife and eventually some others. I highly recommend going to DT Chicago on a Black Friday at least once in your life. It is an exhilarating, exciting and pretty safe time to do it. Big crowds, all enjoying the experience. Amazing people watching, inspiring lights, music, usually snow. Turns Scrooge into Prancer.

The Lost Belize Study #2

Even more goodies from my favorite Central American Parliamentary Democracy, Belize.
Included here are some of the goodies I recorded in 2005 while touring the region by large ship (ah, it was a cruise.) Enjoy, and look for UFOs!

Lost Belize Study #1

My one and only trip to Belize - and other Central American stops - included a few fantastic little junkets across the tiny nation with several Mayan ruins, cool coastline and some of the richest history in the world. I shot about 40 photos, maybe ten are worth showing. Here's batch #1. The locations are Belize City, Altun Ha Mayan ruins and a lighthouse/warning structure on the beach near La Caracol. I forgot about the shots when I got a new hot rod computer, and they never made the transfer. I found them and the memories came flooding back in like a high tide.  

Vintage Camper Showcase #12 (AKA "The Minnesota Duck.")

It's one of my favorite off-color jokes. A yarn so simple and silly, even a fourth grader - or a radio host - can understand and revel in it.
It's the story of The Minnesota Duck: Two guys - usually of Scandinavian descent - are finishing a day of duck hunting in the woods of North Dakota. Diligent in making sure they didn't exceed the No Dak limits, they are about to head back to the Lodge for a few stories, beers and probably white-colored food. That's when a North Dakota DNR agent stops them. He asks if they were shooting only North Dakota ducks.
"Well, how would we know?" The one hunter rails back.
That's when the DNR fella reaches into his mouth, licks his finger and yes, sticks it into the rear end of the Mallard. He then pulls it out, slides it under his nose and smells. Eyes closed, he nods and says, "No, that's a North Dakota duck."
He then repeats the same procedure on each dead fowl. Finally, he reels back and declares that one of the ducks is, indeed, a "Minnesota Duck."
(That means it would be out of season, because North Dakota and Minnesota can't agree on anything, except that manure "smells like money.")
"You boys will need to come with me." He declares.
Shocked, the two hunters can't believe it.
"First, you need to tell me your names and where your from," he said.
The first hunter dutifully answers, "Jens Jenson, from Fergus Falls."
The other hunter - yeah, you see it coming - is less than cooperative: He drops his pants, turns around and declares:
"I'm Larry Hanson. And you're so smart, you tell ME where I'm from!"

That one never gets old.
God Bless my old friend Wes Schierman, who first told me that joke when I was about 12-years old.



(Photos are from the C.Dickenson Collection, from the RV/MH Museum in Indiana. No water fowl were injured in the making of this joke or blog post.)

"Say cream danish!" Caption Contest #3 (also, Vintage Camper Showcase #11)

This photo has it all: A classic Buick LeSabre, vintage Airstream, mock windmill and a smiling family in their Sunday best! If it had a puppy and a Gerber baby it would qualify for federal restoration funding. GBA! (Ah, that's "God Bless America") Let loose with the captions!

Waking to a party... (Vintage Camper Showcase #11)

In the early hours, while the Sun was still warming Europe and beginning to tint the Lake Superior sky, I rolled across the little camper bunk and listened. Listened still. No breathing.
Drumming insects, rustling grass, cool din of the Shasta's fridge, waning campfires and something else - a vague, lilting rhythm. Saucy, possibly scandalous New Orleans jazz. End of the night at an outdoor party, when the only people awake are either too drunk to dance anymore or too sober to dance just before sunrise.
I wanted to join them, grab the conversation and run with it.
Man, camping can be worth the hassle.

Birthday Boy

Happy Birthday, Orv!

Frank Lloyd Wright Thanksgiving Photo Study

All photos taken Thanksgiving Day, 2006 at the Frank Lloyd Wright-designed and built Seth Peterson Cottage, on Mirror Lake near the Wisconsin Dells. Owned by the State DNR, and up for rent by the weekend! 

(Thanks to Brother Brian and Cheryl Freeman, and the 'rents for footing the bill at this Amazing Piece of architectural history.) And yes, I'm including a rare, former smoker self-portrait (the last one, on the porch.)
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Hope the last photo doesn't wreck your appetite!

Vintage Camper Showcase #8 - NPS

Oh, doesn't it make you want to throw on some Bermuda shorts, grab a High Life and head for the fishing hole? Maybe grab a heater along the way, and then complain about the way music has gone "downhill," you know, with all that "rock-and-roller stuff." Heck, I'm thinking of investing in the National Broadcasting Corporation, ever since they added stations west of the Rockies! You know this radio thing could be the future. (Photo courtesy the National Park Service. 1933 at Glacier National Park. No details on car or camper.)

Vintage Camper Showcase #7 - Meet Miss Spartanette!

She's a sassy little vixen, all smooth and shiny like a lake's reflection on a sunny day. Spartans were known for their shiny polished styling, variety in sizes and lush, rich interiors and woodwork. They have become one of the primary vintage campers for restoration, in part because of that classic look, which I like to call the "Jetson's Style." Here's a few prime Spartans for the first time on TTG.




(All photos and literature courtesy the RV/MH Museum in Indiana.)

Shameless Promotional Moment #1

I've been asked - well, after suggesting they ask - to include the link to my photo biz slide shows.
I have the non-traditional wedding gallery (less than three dozen shots, about 45-seconds) and the artsy-fartsy "Inanimate Series." Which is artsy inanimate shots, in a series, or "slide show" as the kids these days are calling them. Enjoy. and E-mail me for rates and shooting info.
It should work now. All comments, bad, good or indifferent welcomed!


(Above: Nate and Jolene revel in the splendor of wedded bliss by turning six-years-old again, briefly. Shot at a public landing near McKinley, in Polk County, WI. Left, a candle from a wedding reception and a rare halo moon from the winter of 2006)