Dishing it out

Casserole or hot dish? As long as it tastes good, we judges don't care

judge |jəj|
noun
a public official appointed to decide cases in a court of law.
• a person who decides the results of a competition.
• an official at a sports contest who watches for infractions of the rules.
• a person able or qualified to give an opinion on something : he was a good judge of tasty recipes, talent and band names.

Yes, I modified the definition a bit, but the role is important.




It is one of the lesser-known debates on naming: "Casserole" or "Hot Dish."
The Frederic, Wisconsin Historical Society has usurped that great debate altogether and instead has an annual contest to decide who has the best recipe for the loosely-named Sunday staple in many local households.
I was asked to be a judge in this critical "Hot Dish Competition" for the second straight time. It is one of the most coveted judging calls I've been honored to have.
Hey, I'm not going to turn down free food.
In my quasi-professional career in the media, I've been asked to host, emcee and judge numerous contests: From a bowling alley grand opening to the county fair talent contest and several in between. People think I apparently am a "good judge of talent."
Little do they know how deep it goes.
Hormel made our family one of their "testers" back in the late 70s, and while the dishes seemed to all be various varieties of TV dinner, I did get an early look at food judging.
But I'm not one to insult any food, so they all seemed pretty good to me.
"Hmm, this one would go good with The Six Million Dollar Man and that one would be good with Charlie's Angels!"
Of course, what doesn't go good with bionic action shows and cute female detectives?
The accompanying Hormel letter with each food test made you realize the importance of your judging task - how it will influence the diets and meals of America and the World.
I took it very seriously.
But my career of influencing America was off an running even before that.
As a child, I (mistakenly) told my little brother that I "made up" the phrase "shut up."
I guess I heard it somewhere else, but it made my brother a minor celebrity at Sister Elizabeth Kenny Elementary.
The whole episode also made for a good "meet my Brother" story at college parties later in life.
"Dude, you've got to meet Nate's big brother, he's the guy who INVENTED 'SHUT-UP!'"
The chortles of laughter and hand shaking usually overcomes the ridiculousness of the matter. But back in the late 70s, for several days after the claim, his elementary-age friends had the utmost respect for me.
"I use your word all the time!" they would say at his ball games and birthday parties.
Regardless of whether I really invented the phrase, I consider myself a generally good judge of a product, phrase, band or talent.
I predicted long ago the growth of the flavored coffee creamer market; I saw Star Wars on opening night, and convinced nearly half my Susan B. Anthony Junior High homeroom class to attend in the coming days. That one sealed my fate.
I also count at least two band name to my credit, as well; "The Genuine Imitations" and "Ghost Runner," out of Minneapolis. The first name comes courtesy my late Grandfather, Oscar, who referred to their silverware as "genuine imitation silver."
The other band name, Ghost Runner, comes from our whiffle ball days, when two people could play each other on a backyard, urban "field."
(Once referred to, affectionately, as "Freeman Field at Marsten Park." Man, I WAS ahead of our time.)
"Ghost Runner on third, two outs. You lead, 8 to 5."
I was hoping to make another discovery beneath the Frederic Depot picnic shelter, tasting strange hot dish/casseroles on a hot Saturday afternoon.
The competition included a celebrity of sorts in '08 State Senate candidate Alison Page of River Falls. The contest is also a chance to schmooze with the Frederic royalty, local elected folk and business leaders and of course, the actual hot dish creators.
The great "Hot Dish vs. Casserole" debate seemed moot, but there was a variety of atypical-styled dishes, including one with - hang on to your apron - CURRY and coconut.
I don't think Campbell's makes a flavor of soup for that.
Another entry was nothing but carrots, simmering in a sweet-and-sour style broth that amazingly won raves from the participants.
Even with the curry, coconuts and carrots, the variety was not as wild as last year, when an exotic seafood-based noodley-thing was the winner.
The judging criteria is up in the air, but the three of us - myself, Frederic native Kenny Java and former Burnett County Sentinel editor Byron Higgin (Who was my boss for about four days a few summers back, during a "business courtship.")
We all did our best to be "Fox News-like" in our judging: Fair, balanced and most of all, full.
I personally planned to eat nothing but rice cakes, sweet corn and water for three days prior, so I could be famished enough to eat something I might not normally like.
Didn't quite work out that way.
In the end, the taste buds had a workout, and a less-than-exotic "calico bean" style hot dish won top prize. It was hard work but I think our judging was of professional caliber.
I mean, I hope we did a good job. My waistline thought so.
And there wasn't a tater tot anywhere to be seen...or tasted.

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