COLUMN - Acronym City, USA

It all started several years ago at a North Carolina mall, when I ordered a BLT sandwich at a small restaurant.
The less than brilliant young woman asked me if I "wanted tomato on that?"
"Ah, isn't that what the 'T' stands for in 'BLT'?" I asked.
"No, 'BLT' means 'Bacon and Lettuce Together," she said with straight face.
"Sure, throw the tomato on there anyway," I said, holding back my squawks.
From OPEC to TIF to RBI and BLT, acronyms have become as much a part of the English language as nouns, verbs and the word "like."
These attempts to condense every legal action, club name, sports happening, group or whatever into some cutesy, capitalized acronym name is going too far.
It is paucis verbis (in few words) taken to the extreme, IMHO (In My Humble Opinion.)
As a reporter, I run into these goofy acronyms on a daily basis: From DA (District Attorney) to WIAA (Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Association). I need to understand TIF (Tax Incremental Financing), SAGE (Student Achievement Guarantee of Education), PET (Performance Evaluation Team), PCSD (Polk County Sheriff’s Department) and of course, the NPS (National Park Service).
BTW (By The Way), we have many official location acronyms, brought about by the USPS (United States Postal Service) for the ZIP Code (Zone Improvement Program), post WWII (World War Two).
From SCF (St. Croix Falls) to NYC (New York City) and D.C. (District of Columbia), municipalities use the "acro" without even thinking anymore. Not to mention the states and territories, such as PR (Puerto Rico, or Public Relations) and WV (West Virginia), etc.
(Poor Utah and Iowa, they're almost too small, letter-wise, to justify an acronym, except to the USPS. "UA" and IA" are so much easier to remember.)
Then we have the FAA’s (Federal Aviation Administration) system of ID (Identification) for international airports: From MSP (Minneapolis/St. Paul) to DFW (Dallas/Fort Worth) to LAX (Los Angeles International).
More on the government's acronyming later.
Politics is one of the most prominent acronym areas, where both the GOP (Grand Old Party) and DFL (Democrat-Farm-Labor) use the little tool to make their PR (Public Relations) press releases less substantive.
Politicians use the acronym without thought. Whether it’s a PAC (Political Action Committee) such as MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) or the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People). They talk about NAFTA (North American Free Trade Agreement) or a HR (House Resolution) about ANWAR (Alaska National Wildlife Arctic Refuge) or maybe the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act).
Throw in an EIS (Environmental Impact Statement) or cuts to WIC (Women, Infants and Children), SSI (Social Security Insurance) and the effect on the LEI (Leading Economic Indicators) and APR (Annual Percentage Rate) and how it impacts the GNP (Gross National Product).
OK, I'm sorry. My IQ (Intelligence Quotient) is AWOL (Absent Without Leave) when the acronyms start to flow at that PSI (Pounds per Square Inch.).
Don’t forget all the medical facilities: SCRMC, ARMC and OMC (St. Croix Falls, Amery and Osceola, respectively) and their "acro-jargon."
From ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), to AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) to PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), AODA (Alcohol or Other Drug Abuse), or - get ready for some fun - TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint syndrome). It takes an MD (Medical Doctor) with a Ph.D. (Philospohiae Doctor) or at least a BA (Bachelor of Arts) in English to explain what to buy at the PX (Pharmacy.)
And we've just started that acronym rock down a long, mossy slope. i.e. (Intended Example) - it gets worse.