burning yard signs

It's all done. The airwaves are again free of Campaign Clutter.
Here is a sugar-buzz-induced, scotch on the rocks version of Election '08 in Northwest Wisconsin, with a touch of Eastern Minnesota, without a chaser.

Look who came to the polls!
Voter turnout was so good you'd think the polling sites were selling a lot of never-released Beanie Babies - wait, that's so 1985. How about cheap, flat screen TVs?
But in reality, teens, college students, young folks and people without grey hair, bald spots, 401Ks or vinyl roofs on their Buicks made their presence known; The last time I saw that many "Aeropostale" shirts in one place I was in the food court at Rosedale.
The numbers are still being tallied, but the message of "Vote Baby, Vote!" seemed to work. Long lines, slow results and 16-hour days for poll workers was the rule.
However, the Obama/Biden "honeymoon" won't last long, and not even a house-trained, non-shedding puppy for the "First Kids" won't help the reality of a nation in serious turmoil.

Regional trend-bucking
Party affiliation seemed to mean less in the Valley, where Republican 10th District Senator Sheila Harsdorf of River Falls bucked the trends, and won hands-down over challenger - and Sheila's former campaign manager - new Democrat Alison Page.
Page and Harsdorf went from being former classmates, campaign workers and buddies to one of the most negatively-charged campaigns around. By the end of the campaign, there was noticeable tension with both women in the same room. Harsdorf's claws made rare appearances during some of those events, and Page's thirty years in the health care industry shows she is the kind of "lobbyist" I really want to see in Madison and inside the DC Beltway.
Fun Fact: The "Friends of Sheila Harsdorf" group - although they seemed to have an NRA affiliation - somehow managed to make the rookie Page an incumbent along the way: In a prominent "robocall" telephone advertisement, they referred to Page's "Voting to take away your Second Amendment rights to own a firearm."
How Ms. Page did this from her seat on the River Falls School Board remains a mystery. It was one of many untruths that both sides should be ashamed of.
Harsdorf becomes even more of a power broker after this election, where she literally turned the party results on their head. Besides, the only Republicans left in Madison all work at the banks and insurance companies.
Maybe you don't NEED to be a woman to maintain a local seat around here, but as the next results show, you apparently do need to start your last name with the letter "H."

"Hraychuck's Hreturn"
Incumbent Democrat Ann Hraychuck of Balsam Lake had little trouble returning to her 28th State Assembly seat, defeating Dresser Republican Kent Muschinkse by a similar landslide as Obama had in the state.
Hraychuck assembled quite a solid team to keep her in office, and it worked. She is one of the true "rags-to-riches" stories: Starting as a part-time receptionist at the law enforcement center over thirty years ago, later moving into an investigator's role, and eventually sheriff before running for the assembly against popular Republican Mark Pettis in '06 and winning by a handful of votes. That lead grew to several thousand this year and Hraychuck took note on Election night.
"Remember a few years ago when we started this thing? Everybody said Pettis was unbeatable? We proved them wrong! And now we did it again!" She said as the news agencies declared her the '08 victor.
Hraychuck credits a strong local following and tireless volunteers as her trump card.
Insiders also say her stint as Polk County Sportsman Club president, her ties to law enforcement and a steady showing for outdoorsmen has kept her support, regardless of party affiliation.
Even die-in-the-wool conservatives think of her as a friend.
Muschinkse was saddled with a lack of cash flow from the beginning, maybe due to a later start and a concentrated effort on larger races by the GOP. However, his credentials were solid: Farmer, Gulf War Vet, commercial pilot, family man, etc. His performances in the debates and forums got better each time, and his intelligence was obvious.
However, why go from a surely lucrative Mesaba airlines pilot gig to a $50k state job with a surly public review every two years? Kudos to him for that, but it also shows how tough it can be to get a quality candidate early.
Fun Fact: It was no secret that the Wisconsin GOP tried several others on for size to take out Hraychuck before Muschinske agreed, including a local former radio station owner, another local semi-retired journalist and reportedly a local county board supervisor all turned the gig down, apparently for good reason. Bucky Badger had previous commitments.

Regional foibles
There were several ballot issues that garnered attention, mainly in St. Croix County. A binding referendum to reduce the size of their giganto county board from 31 to 19 supervisors passed easily. It is one of the few "board reduction" referenda's to really face voter muster in Wisconsin, and it was a no-brainer. St. Croix County Board meetings - even with former Chair Buck Malick at the helm - could easily get out of control. Try putting 31 people with agendas in one room and do anything. If they could agree on a carpet color or a snack food it was an accomplishment, let alone decide on the fate of a nursing home - which voters did, instead.
Yes, by a similar sweep, the St. Croix County voters moved to keep their county-owned New Richmond nursing home, even if it takes tax levy cash to do it - thereby avoiding a Golden Age Manor/ Supreme Court debacle like Polk County is waging.
The only statewide initiative was a mushy, "feel good," non-binding referenda question on tackling health care by the end of next year. Ho-hum, what's the second verse of 'Kumbaya?"
Yes, it's a "priority" now, but many local county clerks told me they were inundated with calls from people asking "how much is it going to cost?" Hmmm, nobody knows. But darn it, the legislature is going to "address it."

The Other Side of the Valley - Senator whatshisname
It was a bizarre observance for voters East of the St. Croix River: We watched in gagging amazement as the two major US Senate candidates chewed each others limbs off, slowly, and then denied it with blood on their clothing.
Twin Cities media being our prominent link to the world, we were over-informed in their races.
My favorite TV ad was Al Franken's "Sunken Ship" parody, which was about the only one I wanted to see over again. Otherwise, the "masterminds" of party politics were in full choke, and made the race so uncomfortable, that (US Senator for two months after Wellstone died) Independent Dean Barkley got over 15-percent - which was about the number of voters the two big-timers thought were "in play."
Sen. Norm Coleman tried to detour on High Road after a long trek down Negative Highway, but that proved too insincere to work. So he went for the sympathy vote near the last days, with his gorgeous spouse at his side, he played the victim as her puppy dog eyelashes batted in sync to his whimpers. "You've gone too far, this time," he crooned, ignoring that Franken had literally nothing to do with the last-minute "gotcha attacks."
Still thinking your votes don't count? The latest number separating Coleman and Franken - around 200 or so - was about the same amount of Polk County voters who actually pulled the lever for Ralph Nader. Would a recount smell so sweet if it were free?
But poor Ashwin Madia, if he had only discovered a better acne treatment as a teen, much of his Republican opponent's fodder would have been stifled. The GOP seemed to be finding new and creative ways to show he was a handsome fella who once had a bad complexion. We rarely saw Republican Erik Paulsen's face, let alone any wide-collared prom photos, teen zits or Halloweens he was dressed as a Smurf. However, he apparently did vote with President Bush over 167-percent of the time, and never met a big oil subsidy he didn't drool over.
And Michele Bachmann? She tried to lose her race several times: First by physically assaulting George Bush after the State of the Union speech, then by assaulting the rest of us by questioning our "American-ism." She had two things in her favor: She is one of the most "camera-friendly" candidates anywhere, and face it, she ran against a guy named Elwyn Tinklenberg - who had to spell that as a kindergartner. That's tenacity.

In repose
It is reportedly possible that Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle is in the running for an Obama cabinet position, since he jumped on that train long before any other guvs. That would mean local favorite Lt. Gov. Barb Lawton would be the Boss - giving her a leg up on a reelection as an incumbent.
But in reality, I'm surprised any of the candidates are worthy of any office after hearing how evil they are: How they all want to raise my taxes, go to war with Mexico, Guatemala or France, and cut education back to nothing but spankings and study hall, then double my taxes, dine in Bermuda with lobbyists on my checkbook, and then triple my taxes again while promoting inbred puppy mill porn.
I'm pro-puppy, but anti-mill, does that make me a flip-flopper? Am I "waffling," or is that un-mavericky?
"Calgon, take me away!"

(This originally appeared in "The Valley Wire," Nov. 14, 2008)