Each Sports' Best Moment

Like many kids of the 70s, I grew up with the “ABC Wide World of Sports” theme lighting up my rainy Saturday afternoons.
Sports are one of the few universal languages we share - aside from the “Macarena” and Jell-O with fruit. It was the late Roone Arledge who recognized that language, and forced the world to at least share a few vowels and consonants.
He changed the world and how we see it.
Competition, commitment, talent and bravery came to life on my 12-inch RCA set every Saturday. The thrill of victory, agony of defeat and Bruce Jenner Wheaties® commercials were better than the cartoons.
Here we go – in the greatest “Wide World of Sports” tradition – I have my own list of each sports “greatest moments” and unique qualities:
•Baseball has several, but the choreographed twist of a 6-4-3 double play is one of the best. Close behind are plays at the plate, leaping home run saves and a third baseman’s bare-handed bunt fielding and sidearm toss to first. The coaching signals are just plain weird.
•Basketball has changed in recent times. The three-point line has added another positive dimension. The leaping dunk is an obvious favorite. But mine is the slick, no-look dish pass to the power forward trailing behind for the lay-up or dunk. Unbeatably cool.
•Soccer has the “header,” which probably causes some sort of minor brain trauma, but cannot be denied as a highlight. I also like the fan eruptions onto the field.
•Fishing is not a sport, except when there are 70-mph bass boats, digital scales and sponsored press luncheons. Otherwise, it’s a pastime.
•Hockey has the goalie to thank for my favorites: The sliding glove save. The one-on-one, backhanded goal from just beyond the crease is worth the price of admission, but the fights are just a nuisance, I think.
•Football has several: From the blocked field goal to the picturesque pass play, where the receiver is layed out like he’s falling on a pillow-soft Serta™ instead of Astroturf-covered concrete. The “Hail Mary,” kick-off lateral and anything the late Walter Payton ever did are close to the top.
•Racing of any flavor always has the crash. The most spectacular are hydroplanes, followed by Indy cars, dirt bikes and rally cars. Motorcycle crashes on pavement leave me queasy. The NASCAR pit burnout is always fun.
•Golf is a tough one. The chip shot that backspins into the hole is my favorite, but with his new-found fame, I’ve come to like just watching Tiger Woods get beaten, or when he gets into an argument with a cameraman who (gasp!) took a picture during his back swing. The PGA’s pompousness makes it the only sport where I veer away from its sponsors.
•Tennis has more than just Anna K., you know. I love watching the game played on clay, sliding across the backcourt to fire off a cross-court return or when they charge the net and slam it the opposite way. Plus, with clay, the uniforms get all red and dirty around their hat visors, front pockets and rear end.
No matter your gender, you can’t sneak an itch or a scratch into the game with white clothes on clay. The grunts are great, also.
•Skiing of all varieties has the gate thing. It’s so graceful when they lean forward to gain that one-gazillionth of a second for a victory, and then fall onto their faces. Don’t forget the icicles on cross-country skier mustaches.
•Gymnastics has so many cool moves, it’s hard to get just one. My favorite is the uneven bar dismount. After flying 15 feet into the air, upside down, you get to see an 85-pound Russian girl’s knees, feet, ankles and thighs subjected to about 30,000 psi of pressure. And she has to smile through it. That’s sport.
•Track has the seamless high hurdle run and the long jump landing. Right behind that is the high jump and the pole vault curl over the bar.
•Wrestling has the reversal, the spit bucket and some of the strangest contortions short of Ringling Brothers or Masters and Johnson.
•Horseshoes. Very tough. I guess the distinctive sound of a ringer clanging - and usually lots of beer – helps.
•Volleyball can be ultra exciting, with its passing, kills and vertical timing, it’s a hard sport to get away to the restroom. Great uniforms, also. Add sand, tans and odd sunglasses and you’re halfway to a modern “Frankie and Annette” gem.
•Badminton. Tearing down the net and drinking lemonade is about as cool as it gets.
•Bowling has the strangest ball spins, silly clothes (in fashion now!) and the 7-10 split to thank. The alleys are social meeting halls, also.
•Cricket looks like baseball for people on a lunch break. I’ve seen one match, and it was plenty.