The Inventory Reduction Column

(Originally printed in 2003)
I am now convinced that anything once considered sacred is now on the block and open for offers.
The San Diego Padres new downtown stadium required a name, of course. The Petco Corporation bought that right, even though they did not earn it. The company contributed nothing to the construction, not a single nail, rivet, weld or even advice.
They just wrote a check and bought the right to sleep with the park, sort of like Robert Redford does with Demi Moore in the movie “Indecent Proposal.”
What are the chance pets will ever see the inside of the Padres’ baseball park, let alone witness the mediocre play on the ballfield?
Let’s just say Old Yeller has a better chance finding a golden fire hydrant than sitting in the luxury box suites with his master.
But this is America, Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, weekend retreat of the dotcom rich and a place where almost anything without Smithsonian written on it is for sale on E-Bay.
But that’s the beauty of capitalism, right? One couple even sold the naming rights to their child.
“Oh, honey, he even looks like a Claritin®!”
Green Bay area voters approved selling the naming rights to Lambeau Field for $100 million to help pay for a refurbishing.
In a time of state budget cuts, red ink and a checkbook so thin you can see through it, so what? Why can’t they sell that right?
Will there be a business foolish enough to tarnish their own name? What if they don’t get a $100 million offer? Are there companies that will not be considered, even if they offer over $100 million?
Surely there are better ways to blow your advertising dollars. For the price of Lambeau naming rights, it works out to about four million newspaper ads, plus 1.5 million radio ads and a few thousand TV ads. Throw in a few hundred billboards and you could paste the world with your company’s name.
Of course there are styles of businesses that will be off the Lambeau list, such as any type of “questionable” industry, services or intimate product.
Massengil Field™ or Desenex Park® could bring objections.
The Lambeau folks are hoping they get a viable offer from a solid, family friendly industry, like a good, old fashioned alcoholic beverage distributor or producer - with a nine digit number in their bid.
Maybe a nice Wisconsin industry will take the Lambeau plunge - like a cheese or food manufacturer, vehicle producer, or maybe a nice motorcycle company.
If not, I guess we’ll take a chain store or fertilizer manufacturer.
There is a history of selling naming rights to parks: Target Center, Miller Park, Qualcomm Field, Investco Park, Busch Stadium, Wrigley Field, United Center, and dozens of other public facilities with private names. Several of the aforementioned stadiums and fields have certifiable sponsorship contracts. They contributed to the construction of the facility, or helped in the construction costs.
Others, such as Qualcomm, Investco and even Enron (Houston’s finest moment) just wrote big checks and put up big neon letters.
Can we expect Polaris or Pepsi to buy the rights to Oakey Park? Or a new road or bridge? Is that okay? What about at the local schools, can we sell sponsorship to our teams or facilities to the highest bidder? Surely not.
It’s already happening.
There is a current battle between soft drink manufacturers to get their name and vending machines in more public schools than the competition. They will donate a scoreboard or two, maybe throw in an exclusive vending machine or three and help struggling school districts meet the future with a fizzy burp.
One local school district fought this to the bitter end, and it may have cost a board member or two their job.
Areas to the south have been selling billboards on school buses, and baseball team sponsorship did not start with “The Bad News Bears” wearing bail bond advertisements.
Is there a line in the sand? Are some things too sacred?
How about Polk County Justice Center brought to you by the St. Croix Casino? The Amoco Village of Osceola City Hall? Maybe Fingerhut brings you the Village of Amery? Or The Cedar Corporation Methodist Church of Taylors Falls?
Ah, I may have found that line for some folks.
Yes, everyone has their own personal limit in this game, be it schools, churches, courts, villages or football.
There was a time - not so long ago - when naming rights to a public facility, place or object were reserved for pillars of the community, elected folk who gave their all or died in a war. Even notable dignitaries or local heroes were honored.
No more. Now it goes to the largest checkbook, and it shows no sign of stopping.
I can see it now: The Washington Monument, brought to you by the Little Purple Pill, Nexium™.

April 2003 GM