Pontiac, Swine Flu and Pirates, Oh My!

It's not the end of the world, just a really bad inning

There was a time in America when our troubles were thin: Wars, lending rates, heating costs, invasive species on a few crops, maybe a bad storm or two.
Now, it's seems to be getting to a new level of garbage.
Whoever thought we'd have to wear a Swine Flu face mask to a fish fry, or for the college educated to get turned down for a "name tag job," or worry about pirates while on a cruise, or not be able to buy a Pontiac.
Wait, no more Pontiac? You mean the guys who MADE THE FIRST MUSCLECAR? Is this some sort of Al Gore-based joke?
Pontiacs are as American as the Hollywood blockbuster, or an ice cream sandwich in August. "Super Chiefs" were fireworks, sunburn and a hot dog in July, or jell-o in a nursing home - well, maybe not THAT American, but you get the point.
When it comes to "Americana," Pontiacs are up there with earth-tone colored appliances, Crock Pots and surfing movies as the epitome of red-white and blue.
To quote Warren Oates in the 1971 cult-classic "Two-lane blacktop:" "Yeah man, Pontiac's are the deal!"
The late Oates (known to later generations as Sgt. Hulka in the Bill Murray-classic, "Stripes") spends that whole movie telling lies, talking trash, picking up hitchhikers and driving fast on the late Route 66 from the air conditioned jet fighter cockpit of an "Orbit Orange" 1970 Pontiac GTO Judge coupe, packed with a snarling, 455-cubic-inch dinosaur heart under the hood.
"With a few mods, this thing could be a street sweeper," Declares "The Mechanic" in "...Blacktop" (and Beach Boy drummer) Dennis Wilson.
Later Pontiacs made starring roles in movies like "Smokey and the Bandit," "Blue Velvet," and on TV as James Garner's discreet weapon in "The Rockford Files." That gold colored Firebird Esprit also made Rockford's signature move possible. Often referred to as a "Rockford," the speeding-in-reverse J-turn is easy on ice with a front-wheel-drive, but requires a stunt driver and and a tight parking brake on pavement!
But Pontiacs have always been "cool." Their mantra for years has been "driving excitement," and sales have never faltered all that much.
And the "new" GM, which WE sort of own, is killing them. Hmm, maybe to make a point? Is this there idea of punishing America for not lending them U-hauls full of more cash at minus-four-percent interest? Is this the "socialization of the auto industry?" Does this mean the end of the road for driving excitement? Does it mean we'll never get to hear Jean Luc Picard say "Pawn-tee-ack" in his fake-French, Star Trek-esque way every again?
Nah, it can't be. Tell me there will still be a hot rod Pontiac for sale in some showroom, even if it is a hybrid, electric or wind-powered.